Happy New Year!
I’m in an abnormally good mood today – as close to perky as I get.
I was trying not to think about it, for fear that by being conscious of my happiness, I’d start worrying about losing my mojo and thus slip into a bad mood. Trying not to think about being conscious of my consciousness of my happiness, the image turns into the Land o’ Lakes lady and I begin to panic. I realize I’m absolutely crazy and I shut it down.
Really, though, I think it’s going to be a good year.
2012 was rough, 2013 was … turbulent; sort of a healing year after 2012. Some victories: moved away from home, landed a job I actually enjoy, read lots of books, and made an absurd number of body modifications (from perms to tattoos.) Not sure if that goes in victories or if in 20 years it’ll move to a list of HUGE MISTAKES, but what’er.
Some things I sucked at: being healthy, writing regularly, and trusting other human beings.
The first two are the type of things I’d usually resolve to improve, but then I feel all pressured and end up failing, feeling guilty and subsequently drowning my sorrows in a bottle of merlot with a plate of nachos and a Netflix binge. Life is a cycle of vicious cycles that I seem to stupidly fall into time after time. So no, I’m not going to say “This is the year I ___.” I’m just concentrating on the fact that last year was better than the year before, and this year will be, too.
The trusting people thing I should probably work on, opening my heart and all that crap. It likely won’t happen, but I guess I’ll try to be less cynical. I mean, I’m opening up to all you people, so that’s something.
New Years shouldn’t be that big a deal, but how you spend those final hours feels so representative of how the entire year went and how the year to come will unfold. Last year was crazy. It was fun but chaotic, frightening at times, overall exhausting and very dehydrating. Definitely a good foreshadowing of the year to come.
So what will this year bring? Based on the fun, low-key night of games and less-than-stellar fireworks, after which I was able to drive home and get my ass to work on time in the morning, I’d say it’s going to be a good year. Everything in moderation, right? It’s a get shit done and just enjoy-the-moment-for-what-it-is kind of year. Time is going too fast to sit worrying about the future.
Right now I’m pretty thrilled that the jeans I accidentally threw in the dryer have returned to a state of comfortable stretchiness and the French Onion soup I concocted tastes better than a can of Progresso. It’s a good start.